Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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