How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
