Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i think i have herpe
just one?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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