I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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