it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
