Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
it glows. i had to have it.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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