fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
