I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
A+ Viking dick
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize