I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
