Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
