dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
