Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
When did angry sex become our thing?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
