the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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