Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
