I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
