I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Apparently you make a good broom.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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