This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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