I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
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When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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