One girl and one boy is just not enough.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
