In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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