you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize