super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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