this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
whose ass print is on the piano?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
