yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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