If i could tip my vagina, i would.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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