I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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