But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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