Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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