Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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