i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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