I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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