Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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