I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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