Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize