Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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