If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
