he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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