One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
