why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
