Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
