omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
