Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I AM VODKA MAN
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
