tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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