And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
