I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
