I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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