mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Can you bring me the toilet please
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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