Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
