He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize