in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
