belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
