Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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