Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
