I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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