You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
