Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
