So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
3 2 1 whiskey
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
