A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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